FUCK people pleasing
At this very moment, I’m sitting here wondering why I have been a people-pleaser my entire life.
I have never been recognized for who I truly am by my family. Maybe because they are afraid of what will happen if I truly bloom. Instead, I have given them the version of me that I believe they will like. And it’s not just them—it’s society, friends, and everyone I have ever been around. They have only seen the surface, what everyone sees, but my soul—I have kept that hidden.
Do you do the same?
Do you suppress your calling?
For me, it has taken years, little signs here and there, guiding me in the right direction toward my passion. But I haven’t dared to see, listen, seize the opportunity, or stand in my truth. I am still a little scared of what I might achieve in this life—how far I can go to reach the freedom I seek.
SHIT, it’s terrifying to go from being a people-pleaser to actually setting boundaries and making the choices necessary to become authentic on EVERY level.
It takes a lot of courage, many descents into darkness, and a great deal of alone time. I talked with a friend today about this exact topic. Having an open Ajna and Crown Chakra (in Human Design) makes it easy to get inside other people’s minds and be influenced by their thoughts and opinions.
That made it hard for me to know if I actually had my own opinion or if it was just someone else’s. But the moment I turn off my phone for a day or put it on "Do Not Disturb" mode, it’s as if I disconnect and can go within to find my own thoughts and opinions. That’s when these texts start flowing.
DYSLEXIA AND CONCENTRATION DIFFICULTIES
This is one of the diagnoses I’ve been given. You know what? I don’t have that diagnosis. It doesn’t define who I am or what I can do. But it does hold me back from writing good texts in school and being what society calls "academically smart."
Oh well, maybe that’s true, but not in my soul and mind. I am so smart that sometimes people wonder where the hell I learned all of this.
I’ve realized that people-pleasing takes many forms, including making others believe I am dumb—that I can’t get into the school I want, that I can’t blog, that I can’t be an expert in something. I actually think I have to work three times harder to follow my passion. But that’s because I am highly sensitive and take in EVERYTHING around me—plus a little extra.
Over the past ten months, I have realized that people come to me to see the bigger picture because I see things from the outside or from a bird’s-eye view. This gives me insights into others’ lives, which also makes me a highly skilled reader/coach.
Being highly sensitive while also setting boundaries is incredibly difficult, but it’s something you can practice.
Here are some tips I’ve been using lately:
Say you’re busy this week (make an agreement with yourself).
Turn off your phone before bed and leave it off until the next day.
Feel into what you need for yourself and create a mini-retreat. (When we go on a retreat, people know we’re unavailable, so use that mindset.)
Give yourself some pleasure (self-love). It will make you feel alive and loved by yourself.
Eat food that makes you feel good.
Pull a Tarot or oracle card to gain insight into what you need now and moving forward.
And one last thing—no matter what label you have been given, it is NOT you. These labels exist because the world has a limited understanding of how we as humans are put together—on all levels, including spiritually.
Maybe a diagnosis helps you, OR maybe it holds you back.
If it holds you back, you should check out the books:
Born Sensitive
The Highly Sensitive Person’s Survival Guide
Both books have helped me a lot on my journey, but especially Born Sensitive, which really made me understand that I am one of many. Princess Märtha Louise’s story was also very relatable—it gave me hope and understanding.
Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences.
A lot of love,
Gunhild
